So Monday the first of February was my 21st birthday. What did i do. get fucking wasted. And I mean fucking wasted, I had to go to the hospital. Lesson I learned, dont go to the bar already drunk. One would say that its a given, but since I learn from my mistakes; or try to at least, no. When was the last time I posted on this thing; damn 2 months ago.

Lets see whats new in the world of Nicole. Well um. Yeah. I’m alive. I hope, unless this would be very awkward. I made a new playlist today. Its really bare and weird compared to all the others. So what do I happen to be listening to since the damn widgety thing on the side decides to error every time. Owl City (it gets stuck in my head so I’ll listen to it til it officially annoys me to death), Say Anything (You have to love music about girlfriends, sex, drinking and smoking (allegedly smoking, but im pretty sure from his song Max Bemis is a stoner)), Angels & Airwaves (I love anything Blink 182 related, Enema of the State was the first rock cd i bought), Paramore (duh Hailey is fucking awesome), Anberlin (No one is comparable to them!), Imogen Heap, Ke$ha (Tik Tok is fucking rad), and Garfunkel & Oates (thats where I got the title for this post, they are fucking hilarious, kinda like the female version of Lonely Island? I think so!).

I like everyone else and their mom created a formspring account. You can find me at: s34rchnd3str0y. Ask me questions I shall attempt to answer them hopefully.

Here are some pics of me on my birthday!

The bottom one was taken around midnight, and the top one around 10:30 ish at the bar. I dont look much older though.

I dont really know what else to put in here for now other than I’m lonely, and drinking coffee isnt the same when your not at Webbs. Oh and I want to play Thinkwise! again. Its fucking awesome.

Well….

Love,

Nicole

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this space, no one wants it and I can always get something on blogspot or something. But I highly doubt that it’s as customizable as wordpress, and that I could also update it on my iPod.

So I can’t sleep, I’ve gotten like no sleep in 5 days. The doctor says I have some sort of viral thing, he never said exactly what though. So I’m calling it “Slice of Hell Pie Virus”. Why you ask. Well the first 2 days I could barely move. Then the 2nd day I broke out in hives, and my lip swelled up like a damn balloon. Then this cough started, it has yet to go away. It’s annoying cause NOTHING is helping. So I’ve decided in 2 days and it’s not gone/gets worse, I’m calling the doctor. Oh I also need to take oatmeal baths cuz idk if I’m going to break out again, but it is helping my eczemia. A bit, it still itches like fuck though!

Ok this spell check on my iPod is annoying. How can you get “rich” out of “fuck”. Seriously. I think it would be nice if they came out with “Punctuation Check”. Cause I can spell, oh I can spell. I can’t punctuate though.

So I’ve had a very drama free last month and a half. With friends I mean. Family not so much. My dad is such a dick. I get it he wants me to move out, but your my father you don’t have to be a dick about it. And you don’t want your daughter to continue having terrible panic attacks. And my grandma, omg my grandma who says I’m cold cuz I don’t cry when we visit my mother at Huber. I’m not cold. She don’t just get the fact that I don’t cry over tiny shut, unless it has to do with panic attacks when I’m very sick, where I just want to see Taylor. I know there are more important/involuntary things to cry about. Believe it or not those two things are related, well atleast in my brain.

So on an official note. I’m not having kids. Mainly cuz of all my emotional problems that stem from middle school & high school. And plus all that shit is hereditary, my grandma has it too. Oh and I’m genetically pre-disposed to cancer. So yeah too many things. And now I have a fight to go along with it compared to “I don’t want kids, I hate kids”.

So I have to get some sleep, I gotta be up in6 hours to go shopping with my grandma. And I WANT to go to sleep. Who knows. Well good night all.

xoxo.
Nicole

for all of you that dont know me, im anti-armed forces, war, and violence. you may call me a hippie i dont care. judge me all you want i also dont care. but when im called a selfish bitch for stating my opinion youve offically pissed me off and i will find you and hurt you. you wont know when, you wont know how, just watch out you fuckers. also for those who dont know i dont particularily enjoy where i live. i want to move somewhere far and pretty.

this leads me to things that piss me off (its my fucking blog if you dont want to read what i bitch about you better leave, cuz ill probably offend you.):

• my boyfriends ex
• people who wont shut the fuck up on their phones when im trying to help them
• people who feel that they must show off how much money they have
• teenage girls
• when people tell me i shouldnt do something, im 20 i feel i can decide if its a good idea or not
• stupid people
• the army, the navy, and what ever else it is cuz i dont care
• people who tell me that they are fighting for my freedom in iraq, i thought i already had freedom… asses
• people who refuse to let me express my opinion, cuz its wrong
• my father
• people who feel they must yell at me like im a child
• people who try to give me money for m “my child college fund” cuz they think im pregnant., i should then get to ask them if they are retarded
• people who yell at me cuz they are offended
• kanye west
• lady gaga (show me some real fucking proof. and stop dressing like a drag queen if you arent one cuz its fucking stupid)
• people who dont understand counter-cultures
• people who treat me like im stupid
• ed hardy
• parents who want me to lie to their kids
• parents who dont watch their kids
• you and your $400 coach/dooney & burke purse that you will have for a year and then feel you have to get a new one, even though your other one is in mint condition
• britney spears and her fans that think she is still the shit….
• people who think katy perry can sing (alert alert its all digital)
• metalocolypse its retarded and i dont care if i spelled it wrong
• teenie-boppers
• using leggings as pants, they arent they are supposed to be layered, go watch a good 80’s movie and find out
• fashion trends
• art trends
• trends in general
• scene kids who believe they are individuals
• people who dont see the beauty in things
• shows about having a shit ton of kids (like jon and kate plus eight)
• shows about brides
• shows about seeing you give birth…..
• mtv
• 16 & pregnant, its nice to know you’ve fucked up but i dont need a damn show about it
• celebrity dating shows, half of them are famous for being on another dating shows (ps all the girls are whores, so the first challenge should be getting them tested)
• kim kardashian and her twit sisters
• girls who wear “bump-its”, apparently they arent aware that it looks like they have a growth on their heads…..
• people who tell me ridiculous stories

well theres what i have to say.

xoxo

Nicole

My Top 5 Favorite Stoners

1. Michael Phelps

2. Doug Benson

3. Bob Marley

4. James Franco

5. Stephen King

My Top 5 Hottest Comedians

1. Daniel Tosh

2. Doug Benson

3. Margaret Cho

4. James D. Rolfe (aka Angry Video Game Nerd)

5. Sarah Silverman

My Top 5 Favorite Nerds

1. Bill Nye The Science Guy

2. Angry Video Game Nerd

3. Tina Fey

4. Ben Stein

5. Steve Jobs

opppppppsssssss….

i forgot about thissssss.

sorry.

ive been mega busy with work. and friends. and work.

lets see what has happened:

yeah thats about it….

im going to go..
real update is on the way
i promise.

Love,
Nicole

I can’t get into my ftp programs, they connect but they never let me look at my files….

shit i have to do it manually…
fml

Why do I even have friends?

Why do I care?

Ugh I’m so sick of this shit, I fucking hate everyone!

My great grandma died last sunday. she lived to be the ripe old age of 94, not quite as old as my other great grandmas, but she had a hard life.

So on saturday i was sitting in her chair, and my grandma was passed out snoring on her chair and her dog was right next to her. and all of a sudden i feel something hug me. well my grandma and i were the only 2 there. cool eh?

I told that story to some people at work, and some one was like it could have been god, and i was like well i need proof of this “god” you speak about. and one of my best friends there was like it could have been your great grandma and i was like thats what i am thinking.

well i have to go help my mom and my grandma clean up my grandmas house

Oh I know swearing in the title.

But he’s very unrealistic. He thinks his mom, my great grandma, might go back home and everything is going to be ok. Last night when I was bored I looked up sepsis on webmd, and there is an 80% of chance that she is going to die. She’s also 94, and has had a hard but good life.

He’s standing right in front of me and I want to punch him in the throat, he’s so dumb and such a momas boy. I understand he wants her to live longer but it’s not going to happen. I’m 19 and I have realistic views on life.

Oh how I hate him.

But how I love my great grandma, she helped raise me, and my grandma also helped too.

Yeah I’ve spent now 3 days at the hospital.

I’ll write later.

Xoxo
Nicole

Lets start this off.

Muffins are a delicious treat shared by everyone. Not just old ladies. My 17 year old sister bakes muffins. Does that make her old.

On another point, ugh, I get this sooo much, especially at work when I get called ma’am. I AM REALLY FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, I AM GOING TO BE 20, ON THE FIRST OF FEBRUARY. I just want to get that cleared up, and if you want proof i have proof. You choose, my birth certificate, or my state id.

I do know the english language. Its a blog wrote in a rush by some one who is just a teenager, if you expect things to be perfect, fuck off.  I don’t need to conform to your damn standards of writing.  And most of the papers I wrote in high school, full of words most of the kids i attended high school with couldn’t comprehend. 

Apparently I didn’t get this memo about blogs that they all have to be written in perfect english. Cuz im totally an english major in college. psh. im not in college.

So on I’m guessing who ever wrote that, is prolly a jesus freak. which explains oh so much.  You don’t belive that christmas took over the winter solstice because you don’t want to even think that there are other religions. So this chick is prolly gonna end up being one of those old ass women who go to stores and tries to convert the girl working at the cash register. Belive me i used to keep the pamphlets but i had too many. Now i only keep one cuz the purple fire makes me giggle. And believe you and me, not alot of shit makes me giggle. I dont believe ive ever really used that word before.

here is one link about the winter solstice:

Ancient Origins: Solstice

here is another one where it tells you about how JESUS WAS NOT BORN ON DECEMBER 25:

The Winter Solstice And Christmas

 
here is an actual paper about the meaning of your damn xmas tree and wreaths:

The Christmas Tree-An Ancient Pagan Fertility Symbol

well im going to go to bed cuz its like 2:44 am, and thats when normal people sleep.

xoxo

Nicole

It’s so delicious and I’m craving it!!!

I wanna go to Fujiyama tonight.

That’s it.

xoxo.
Nicole

Yup Tobykins is my cat. mainly known as toby. but he smells like a dusty bookshelf. 

Whats going on in my life.

Nothing.

Yup nothing.

Just listening to P!nk. love her, shes amazing.

ohh my muffins are ringing!!!

and they smell delicious! nothing like fresh baked blueberry muffins in january.

So the other day i saw my favorite boy ever, its been like 2 years since we really hung out. and i felt safe, which is a good thing for me. oh i love that boy.

thats about it, imma go.

xoxo,

Nicole

Are lame.

My grandma feels that its a great present to hand down. thats a no. the only only people that buy them are either religious freaks or old lonely women. i notice these things because where i work sells them.

oh and i know some of the people reading this are gonna be thats so cute. 

its not im fucking [almost] 20 years old. its crap. and will always be crap. and i couldnt give 2 shits about it either.

and on top of it I DONT CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!!!!

my family does and i just go along with it.

but whats the point. i was FORCED into being confirmed into a religion i dont believe in. cuz thats just how bad shit is in my family, it was be confirmed or be kicked out. i like living in a house.

then again my grandma is crazy and collects light houses, its ok now that her condo in florida is covered in them, its florida, but not when she had a house in northern wisconsin.

i dont understand the idea of passing shit down, im not having kids, they would just be thrown out after i died.

and yes cuz all goth kids want ceramic xmas villages.

love,

Nicole

ps

i needed to get this out, but i still feel like imma cry prolly cuz im an anxious wreck that cant sleep alone at night.

I’m talking about the rock of love women… They are some of the nastyest bitches ever. I’d much rather spend time with the flava of love girls..,

So idk what to talk about. I had a nice holiday season. I got a hello kitty toaster, a 1TB external hard drive, money. Yeah that’s it…. A sad holiday for me.

I’m just stoked for tomorrow, I get to go see the crystal method, and like 60 other djs… And rave all night. And drink. It’s hopefully gonna be the best $25 I’ll spend in a while…

So I bought call of duty 4: modern warfare (yes I’m that kind of girl gamer LOL) and I love it. And my best friend got me rock band 2. And my bestest friend hot me cooking mama for the ds, which I wanted. Cuz I love video games.

So my 10 day free trial of world of Warcraft is expiring.. And I don’t care I don’t think I’m gonna buy it until I can buy a decent virus protector for my mac… Sure you can get awesome free ones for windows but no you can only get free trials for mac… It’s bs, apparently companies think all mac owners have money…. That’s a no.

Well I have to go. I’ll try to write later…. Oh yeah 2 months till I can buy a new phone!

This new layout is only temporary..

im trying to come up with a new idea, for a layout. but its not working.. i have so much shit to do so i dont think there is gonna be one i actually made until the new year.

so ill be back next week. sorry guys =[

xoxo

Nicole

Christmas started out as the pagan holiday, winter solstace, and they celebrated it way before jesus was ever born. So along come the christians and they stole the holiday season from the pagans. The wreath and the tree are both pagan traditions, the wreath is a pagan fertility symbol.

i just felt like dropping some knowledege…

I still hate working at joanns, i really want to punch half the people i have to deal with. they need to pull their heads out of their asses and deal with life.  And im so sick of all the rich kids coming to joanns and doing whatever they want. Cuz mommy and daddy pay for everything. those bitches never work one day in their life. and prolly never will, they will just marry rich and have like 4 kids and do nothing all day, cuz thats how they were raised…. to never lift a finger.

theres my rant.

oh yeah i hate the “holiday season”.

xoxo

Nicole

i hate working at joanns (fabric and craft store).  i especially hate working the day after thanksgiving. and then the saturday after thanksgiving. and the next sunday is terrible too.

thats all i have to say for now.. 

except never drop your cell phone in an energy drink…

XOXO

Nicole

These are currently my fave letters…

they let us get shit off our chest…
even if its to other frustrated users..
i love it… i can bitch anonymously

1. Dear Adobe

Older versions (like from 10 years ago) of your software were stable, elegant, and consistent. They were standard-bearers. Please bring back those days. If you continue on your current course, users will need computers capable of modeling global climate change patterns just to run Adobe Reader.
 

2. Dear Adobe:

I would like written documentation to be provided, instead of podcasts and video tutorials. I don’t care to watch a video of some person yapping away when I could skim the text in seconds to find what I am looking for.
one of my teachers last year told us to go to the adobe site with all the tutorials on it, and i was looking and these guys never shut up.. I want some eye candy with my tutorials if i have to sit there for 3 hours having some fat ass explain to me how to copy and paste shit.

3. Dear Adobe:

Why the hell do you put the applications into their own folders?! Application bundles are built the way they are so that you can put that unnecessary crap inside the application itself, or make it an optional install. 

4. Dear Adobe:

Why do I have to sell my house to buy your Suite?

5. Dear Adobe:

When I visit your website, please DO NOT play audio or video at me. I am a professional, I’m there for information, not to be dazzled by Flash idiocy that you think is cool. Websites that hijack the user’s audio are bad Internet citizens and you know it.

6. Dear Adobe:

Get in this century and quit with the suites. let us pick our own software package and discount it according to number of apps bought.

that has to be the best fucking idea ever!

Well kinda..

I just opened my self up to hosting people….

all the info is under the hosting section in the sidebar….

well i have to go…

xoxo

Nicole

So its been 2 years….

not since my last post, or the last time ive been on my site.

Its been 2 years…..

and i still miss him….

i dream about him….

it creeps me out a bit…

that i still think about him….

its been 2 years…

and so much has changed…

its been 2 years….

and im not a stupid girl anymore…

its been 2 years…..

and i dont know how to get over it..

i guess i haven’t ever got over him…

i dont care how that sounds…

it just hurts being so lonely right now….

thats all i can say…

xoxo

Nicole