ambulence.org

Dear anyone who is reading this,
Tomorrow at midnight, aka approx. 7 hours, my site will be nothing. So if you read it it shall not be updated. I care about this shit.

Love,
Nicole

So I’ve enrolled myself at the Baking and Pastry Arts program at MATC, and this time I want to graduate, I think I have found what I want to be for the rest of my life. Well not the rest of my life, but the majority. Other than the activities I’ve been doing a lot of lately. I will not say what those activities are but yeah. I’m still living in my grandma’s basement, and I don’t really give a fuck. Or I don’t have anymore fucks to give. Idk at this point, its bad.

Still the main activities in my life are work and school. More than ever, on the upside every time I talk to my manager about getting more hours she yells at me that I need to study, and have time to do so.

This semester I can only take 8 credits so I’ve enrolled myself in Sociology, Food Sanitation and Psychology.

I’ve been pissed at my psychology class for the last 3 weeks. My teacher was talking about people with depression drinking to feel happy, and like everyone in my class laughed (like hahahahaha thats fucking funny laugh). I’m in that class so I can learn about people with “invisible illnesses”.  I have invisible illnesses, I have depression and anxiety along with add, and I felt like absolute shit. I know what nervous laughter is, and this was not that. I can thank my dad for saying that, everyone else said everyone in my class is a fuck-head (not exactly those words but thats how I describe it).  In my sociology class I’m not learning anything, you’d expect in a college setting your teacher/professor would teach you something in a 3 hour class, well how about not. So we have to read chapters at home, I hate reading chapters at home, I want to discuss this shit in class, so the government is paying MATC to have this guy teach me shit I already know, but not teach me anything. He has topic add, where he will hop from one topic to another with nothing connecting them, I would drop the class but my financial aid would be revoked, and I’d rather have it not.

My food sanitation class is what you would call an ideal class, minus he doesn’t want us texting for like an hour and 45 min. I’m ok with that, but I can tell others aren’t. Now why is he the ideal teacher, well if you have a question, he won’t get off of topic, he will answer your question in an order of when it was asked, and stay close to topic. I like if your like 5 min late he will never hold it against you.

Thats something I do not get why in college if you are 10 min late its like the end of the world, god forbid if traffic is bad and your coming to school from work, isn’t the important thing that I am there in a reasonable amount of time. I was like 3 min late to psych one day and apparently in 3 min he went over a whole test. Now I don’t want to say I hate my psych teacher, nope never mind I fucking hate him. Really no one in the class is over the age of 30, we know all the real words, you can stop saying “youngster” my grandma is 67 and I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say that in my life, well the life that I remember, which spans from 2006-now. My grandma talks in a much “hipper lingo” than he does. I only put that in quotes mostly because I can’t remember the word.

Me remembering words is few and far in between, I don’t know what wrong with my brain, but it refuses to remember words.

XOXO,

Nicole

I know I haven’t been on here anywhere near recently. But I miss talking in here freely. Dispite the fact I maybe intoxicated, in any sense in the word, even now.

But if you care to know, since August 29th, 2011, I’ve been at either work or school. Thats about it. Period. No lie.

Love,

Nicole

What have I been doing?

Well let’s take a stab at this; I’ve been working and working and of course sleeping, then I go to Potawatomi casino every now and then, and then again I go to sleep and then work some more.

I need to make my mother a website for her new cleaning company, yay, I suppose, I’m not getting paid for it though.

I went out for sushi last night, it was delicious as per usual.

Next week is St. Patricks day, so I’m going out, it’s my bff’s birthday. I’ve known this kid for 15 years, I hope the night is wonderful and I don’t get plastered.

I plan to make a worst dressed and best dressed site, it will be great. Just because you’re in high school doesn’t mean you have the right to dress like a moron.

Right now I’m watching Amazing Race, they are in tokyo and I’m jealous, considering these are all returning teams they should be used to driving around in foreign countries but they are all idiots.

Well peace out I’ll attempt to update next week!

Love,
Nicole

So a while ago I created a list of my 100 favorite songs of all time, here they are.

1. Kashmir – Led Zepplin
2. Relapsing – Boys Night Out
3. Thrash Unreal – Against Me!
4. Savior – Rise Against
5. Search And Destroy – The Stooges
6. White Rabbit – Jefferson Airplane
7. Breaking – Anberlin
8. Supergirl – Saving Jane
9. The Way I Am – Ingrid Michaelson
10. Do You Feel – The Rocket Summer
11. Fidelity – Regina Spektor
12. Naïve Orleans – Anberlin
13. Drug Of Choice – 10 Years
14. Proud To Be A Stoner – Kottonmouth Kings
15. Hide And Seek – Imogen Heap
16. My Balls Your Chin – Snot
17. Better Than Drugs – Skillet
18. Eat Shit And Die – Margaret Cho
19. If I Could Make You Do Things – Two Tongues
20. All The Same – Sick Puppies
21. Sugarhigh – Coyote Shivers
22. You’re Going To Go Far Kid – Offspring
23. The Feel Good Drag – Anberlin
24. Brick By Boring Brick – Paramore
25. Fett’s Vette – MC Chris
26. Oh No You Didn’t – Wojahn Brothers
27. The Zephyr Song – Red Hot Chili Peppers
28. Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen
29. Under The Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
30. Scar Tissue – Red Hot Chili Peppers
31. Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers
32. Otherside – Red Hot Chili Peppers
33. My Heroine – Silverstein
34. Ball And Chain – Social Distortion
35. I Was Wrong – Social Distortion
36. What I Got – Sublime
37. Paris In Flames – Thursday
38. In This City – Iglu & Hartley
39. Ghost – Brian Firkus
40. She Is Beautiful – Andrew WK
41. I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness
42. Soul Meets Body – Death Cab For Cutie
43. Mercy – Duffy
44. Telescope Eyes – Eisley
45. Everlong – Foo Fighters
46. Somewhere Over The Rainbow – Isreal Kamamawiwo’ole
47. Imagine – John Lennon
48. Don’t Stop Believig – Journey
49. Bicycle Race – Queen
50. Killer Queen – Queen
51. Radio Ga Ga – Queen
52. Ooh La – The Kooks
53. A.D.I.D.A.S.- Korn
54. Falling Away From Me – Korn
55. Such Great Heights – The Postal Service
56. Science Fiction/Double Feature – Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast
57. The Kill – 30 Seconds To Mars
58. Girl’s Not Grey – AFI
59. Adam’s Song – Blink 182
60. Heart Shaped Box – Nirvana
61. Bring Back The Bomb – GWAR
62. Peace Sign/Index Down – Gym Class Heroes
63. Sexecutioner – GWAR
64. Dig – Mudvayne
65. Not Falling – Mudvayne
66. Death Blooms – Mudvayne
67. Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World
68. Sweetness – Jimmy Eat World
69. Prison Sex – Tool
70. Slaughterama – GWAR
71. Sober – Tool
72. Schism – Tool
73. Bat Country – Avenged Sevenfold
74. Country Boner – Puscifer
75. Box Full Of Sharp Objects – The Used
76. Take It Away – The Used
77. Secret Crowds – Angels & Airwaves
78. The Adventure – Angels & Airwaves
79. Dracula’s Lament – Jason Segal
80. Scotty Doesn’t Know – Lustra
81. Bloody Romance – Senses Fail
82. Inside of You – Infant Sorrow
83. Free Fall Without A Parachute – Senses Fail
84. Mr. Jones – Counting Crows
85. Cold Hard Bitch – Jet
86. Wonderwall – Oasis
87. Teenage Lobotomy – The Ramones
88. Spiderwebs – No Doubt
89. Cherry Bomb – The Runaways
90. Bulls on Parade – Rage Against The Machine
91. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
92. Positive Vibes – Kottonmouth Kings
93. Hotel Song – Regina Spektor
94. Tangerine Sky – Kottonmouth Kings
95. How Far We’ve Come – Matchbox Twenty
96. Broken Heart – Motion City Soundtrack
97. Pumpkin Soup – Kate Nash
98. Nothing Feels Good – The Promise Ring
99. Where The Grass Is Much Greener – Brian Firkus
100. Rebirthing – Skillet

• Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones
• Fifi Trixibelle
• Peaches Honeyblossom (sounds like a hippie name :])
• Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
• Justice
• Spec Wildhorse
• Poppy Honey
• Rocket Valentin
• Racer Maximilliano
• Rebel Antonio
• Rogue
• Audio Science
• Moon Unit
• Diva Muffin
• Moxie CrimeFighter
• Seven Sirius
• Zolten Penn
• Sage Moonblood
• Zuma Nesta Rock
• Rainbow Joan of Arc

I watch a shit-ton of E!, like amazing amounts. Why, well thats because the daytime programming; well most of it, is AMAZING!

She adopted another kid. Hey I am not one that is against adoption, there are plenty of kids that need good homes. BUT FUCKING SERIOUSLY! Why do you adopt kids from other countries, yeah maybe their parents are dead, but there are SO MANY FUCKING kids from America (or whatever your home country/planet) live that need a caring family. So I want to know why people go around adopting foregin kids when there are so many kids here who need love and a home.

So apparently Angelina just adopted another kid, and that brings her kid count up to 7. Seven mother fucking kids. Yeah I know her and Brad have millions of dollars but fucking seriously, they get the chance to travel all over the world and expierence  things most people will never get to experence. Can they ever stay in one place and I wonder how Shiloh feels, considering thats her only biological child, and how she goes around collecting all these other children. Its like Pokemon except with people, and it makes me feel disgusting. Oh apparently she wants 14 children, that makes me sick.

Madonna, oh what can I say about that gaped-toothed bitch. Only that I think she thinks she is amazing. She already has 2 kids and she goes and adopts 2 more. I get it help out the children be a cougar. OK that last part makes me gag, a bit, wait a lot. Everyone is like look at Madonna help out the children, more like look at Madonna steal children with living relatives.

Lady Gaga, according to Time Magazine was voted one of the 100 Most Influential People. I think she is only influential to help little girls sing songs about riding on someones dick. Disco Stick, fucking really. I know what a Disco Stick is, if you don’t and haven’t guessed yet, ITS A GOD DAMMED PENIS! I heard a little like 11 yr old girl singing that song. That is disgusting, fucking disgusting. This lady is not influential, she is perverted and disgusting. If you are SOBER and get kicked out of a baseball game, it is sad!

Gary Busey is insane in general, and he knows it and we all know it so he is totally self explanatory.

xoxo,

Nicole

(sorry about the spelling mistakes, my spell check isn’t working.)

I’m just unbelievably bored right now so this post is what im wearing.

omg I LOVE this skirt, its adorable and it still fits me and it has pockets. you have no clue how much pockets in skirts make me happy. skirts are so awkward with out them. seriously where do you store shit if your not in a hoodie or carrying a purse?

Don’t get me started on my “I (heart) Mary Jane” shirt. Its good when I want to represent when I’m with my grandma cuz I seriously think shes clueless.

and im listening to sublime. oh today is going to be good. probably going to go out drinking later.

Peace Out,
Nicole

Strikes are things I’ve done!

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself. (no emo)
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide.
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.

Been in a fist fight.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.

I went so long without having apple support. and all of a sudden shit wasnt working right. god so fucking pissed.
But now after 5 hours of fucking with my computer I have fixed it.

Some guy just asked me to like show stuff (my girly stuff) on webcam on stickam, for $300. Im not a whore. I will not get paid for guys to see my stuff. I will not pay to see a guys shit. idk thats just me.

So whats new with me. Well im having complications with my asthema. sooo im on 2 inhalers and steroids and antibiotics and mucinex. sooooo much shit. well tomorrow is my last day of the antibiotics. so thats one pill i wont have to take. and then like idk… i dont know when ill have to stop taking the 2nd inhaler, cuz the first im supposed to carry everywhere all the time so just incase i have issues breathing it will help me.

Going to the bar tonight. So fucking stoked.
Im also sitting on stickam, and no one is talking to me.

I feel I need to update this more and I say it all the time but most of the time I forget this totally exists. And I also need a new layout.

OMG the other day i had to go into photoshop and i was so overwhelmed with it, its been sooooo long since ive even opened up the program. I havent really been drawing or anything on my computer, and i have only been drawing on paper. and it has been SUCKING!

Well I suppose Im going to go.

Peace Out,
Nicole

no not really… well it is. really it is the 17th of march. but its also where im posting this… so if you read this and i havent posted anything new yet but im on blogtv you can see. um sorry i cant talk much, im kinda drunk… already. but i live in wisconsin, im not an alcoholic, but a professional drinker.

s34rchnd3str0y- Broadcast your self LIVE

xoxo
Nicole

My life also feels like its moving backwards. Like my body is sitting in 2010 but my tastes have gone back in time. Why is my life fucking with me like this?

I don’t know, and I don’t really care shit is going to happen weather I want it to or not.

Ok this was requested a long time ago…
My List of People I Want To Fuck:

Ryan Reynolds

Tom Felton

Alexis Bledel

David Boreanaz

I don’t particularily feel like typing now, I dont know if its because it is 5:15 am, or that I’m not sure.

Atleast you know I’m alive.

xoxo
Nicole

So Monday the first of February was my 21st birthday. What did i do. get fucking wasted. And I mean fucking wasted, I had to go to the hospital. Lesson I learned, dont go to the bar already drunk. One would say that its a given, but since I learn from my mistakes; or try to at least, no. When was the last time I posted on this thing; damn 2 months ago.

Lets see whats new in the world of Nicole. Well um. Yeah. I’m alive. I hope, unless this would be very awkward. I made a new playlist today. Its really bare and weird compared to all the others. So what do I happen to be listening to since the damn widgety thing on the side decides to error every time. Owl City (it gets stuck in my head so I’ll listen to it til it officially annoys me to death), Say Anything (You have to love music about girlfriends, sex, drinking and smoking (allegedly smoking, but im pretty sure from his song Max Bemis is a stoner)), Angels & Airwaves (I love anything Blink 182 related, Enema of the State was the first rock cd i bought), Paramore (duh Hailey is fucking awesome), Anberlin (No one is comparable to them!), Imogen Heap, Ke$ha (Tik Tok is fucking rad), and Garfunkel & Oates (thats where I got the title for this post, they are fucking hilarious, kinda like the female version of Lonely Island? I think so!).

I like everyone else and their mom created a formspring account. You can find me at: s34rchnd3str0y. Ask me questions I shall attempt to answer them hopefully.

Here are some pics of me on my birthday!

The bottom one was taken around midnight, and the top one around 10:30 ish at the bar. I dont look much older though.

I dont really know what else to put in here for now other than I’m lonely, and drinking coffee isnt the same when your not at Webbs. Oh and I want to play Thinkwise! again. Its fucking awesome.

Well….

Love,

Nicole

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this space, no one wants it and I can always get something on blogspot or something. But I highly doubt that it’s as customizable as wordpress, and that I could also update it on my iPod.

So I can’t sleep, I’ve gotten like no sleep in 5 days. The doctor says I have some sort of viral thing, he never said exactly what though. So I’m calling it “Slice of Hell Pie Virus”. Why you ask. Well the first 2 days I could barely move. Then the 2nd day I broke out in hives, and my lip swelled up like a damn balloon. Then this cough started, it has yet to go away. It’s annoying cause NOTHING is helping. So I’ve decided in 2 days and it’s not gone/gets worse, I’m calling the doctor. Oh I also need to take oatmeal baths cuz idk if I’m going to break out again, but it is helping my eczemia. A bit, it still itches like fuck though!

Ok this spell check on my iPod is annoying. How can you get “rich” out of “fuck”. Seriously. I think it would be nice if they came out with “Punctuation Check”. Cause I can spell, oh I can spell. I can’t punctuate though.

So I’ve had a very drama free last month and a half. With friends I mean. Family not so much. My dad is such a dick. I get it he wants me to move out, but your my father you don’t have to be a dick about it. And you don’t want your daughter to continue having terrible panic attacks. And my grandma, omg my grandma who says I’m cold cuz I don’t cry when we visit my mother at Huber. I’m not cold. She don’t just get the fact that I don’t cry over tiny shut, unless it has to do with panic attacks when I’m very sick, where I just want to see Taylor. I know there are more important/involuntary things to cry about. Believe it or not those two things are related, well atleast in my brain.

So on an official note. I’m not having kids. Mainly cuz of all my emotional problems that stem from middle school & high school. And plus all that shit is hereditary, my grandma has it too. Oh and I’m genetically pre-disposed to cancer. So yeah too many things. And now I have a fight to go along with it compared to “I don’t want kids, I hate kids”.

So I have to get some sleep, I gotta be up in6 hours to go shopping with my grandma. And I WANT to go to sleep. Who knows. Well good night all.

xoxo.
Nicole

for all of you that dont know me, im anti-armed forces, war, and violence. you may call me a hippie i dont care. judge me all you want i also dont care. but when im called a selfish bitch for stating my opinion youve offically pissed me off and i will find you and hurt you. you wont know when, you wont know how, just watch out you fuckers. also for those who dont know i dont particularily enjoy where i live. i want to move somewhere far and pretty.

this leads me to things that piss me off (its my fucking blog if you dont want to read what i bitch about you better leave, cuz ill probably offend you.):

• my boyfriends ex
• people who wont shut the fuck up on their phones when im trying to help them
• people who feel that they must show off how much money they have
• teenage girls
• when people tell me i shouldnt do something, im 20 i feel i can decide if its a good idea or not
• stupid people
• the army, the navy, and what ever else it is cuz i dont care
• people who tell me that they are fighting for my freedom in iraq, i thought i already had freedom… asses
• people who refuse to let me express my opinion, cuz its wrong
• my father
• people who feel they must yell at me like im a child
• people who try to give me money for m “my child college fund” cuz they think im pregnant., i should then get to ask them if they are retarded
• people who yell at me cuz they are offended
• kanye west
• lady gaga (show me some real fucking proof. and stop dressing like a drag queen if you arent one cuz its fucking stupid)
• people who dont understand counter-cultures
• people who treat me like im stupid
• ed hardy
• parents who want me to lie to their kids
• parents who dont watch their kids
• you and your $400 coach/dooney & burke purse that you will have for a year and then feel you have to get a new one, even though your other one is in mint condition
• britney spears and her fans that think she is still the shit….
• people who think katy perry can sing (alert alert its all digital)
• metalocolypse its retarded and i dont care if i spelled it wrong
• teenie-boppers
• using leggings as pants, they arent they are supposed to be layered, go watch a good 80′s movie and find out
• fashion trends
• art trends
• trends in general
• scene kids who believe they are individuals
• people who dont see the beauty in things
• shows about having a shit ton of kids (like jon and kate plus eight)
• shows about brides
• shows about seeing you give birth…..
• mtv
• 16 & pregnant, its nice to know you’ve fucked up but i dont need a damn show about it
• celebrity dating shows, half of them are famous for being on another dating shows (ps all the girls are whores, so the first challenge should be getting them tested)
• kim kardashian and her twit sisters
• girls who wear “bump-its”, apparently they arent aware that it looks like they have a growth on their heads…..
• people who tell me ridiculous stories

well theres what i have to say.

xoxo

Nicole

My Top 5 Favorite Stoners

1. Michael Phelps

2. Doug Benson

3. Bob Marley

4. James Franco

5. Stephen King

My Top 5 Hottest Comedians

1. Daniel Tosh

2. Doug Benson

3. Margaret Cho

4. James D. Rolfe (aka Angry Video Game Nerd)

5. Sarah Silverman

My Top 5 Favorite Nerds

1. Bill Nye The Science Guy

2. Angry Video Game Nerd

3. Tina Fey

4. Ben Stein

5. Steve Jobs

opppppppsssssss….

i forgot about thissssss.

sorry.

ive been mega busy with work. and friends. and work.

lets see what has happened:

yeah thats about it….

im going to go..
real update is on the way
i promise.

Love,
Nicole

I can’t get into my ftp programs, they connect but they never let me look at my files….

shit i have to do it manually…
fml

Why do I even have friends?

Why do I care?

Ugh I’m so sick of this shit, I fucking hate everyone!

My great grandma died last sunday. she lived to be the ripe old age of 94, not quite as old as my other great grandmas, but she had a hard life.

So on saturday i was sitting in her chair, and my grandma was passed out snoring on her chair and her dog was right next to her. and all of a sudden i feel something hug me. well my grandma and i were the only 2 there. cool eh?

I told that story to some people at work, and some one was like it could have been god, and i was like well i need proof of this “god” you speak about. and one of my best friends there was like it could have been your great grandma and i was like thats what i am thinking.

well i have to go help my mom and my grandma clean up my grandmas house